My Head Hurts

Hey hey. It’s me again. Brian is staying low key tonight – a little bit of a bumpy road for him this evening, but nothing my guy can’t handle.

Today Brian had both of the chemo treatments he was supposed to have yesterday. This of course upset me yesterday and a bit today – I don’t deal with things not going as scheduled/planned all too well. But it is ok. He tolerated the treatments well and got time with the doctor to begin discussions on the plans going forward when this whole treatment plan is complete. No details to share just yet, but I will be sure to update you when we have them.

Some of these days my human mind struggles with all of this. It is a lot. A lot emotionally. A lot mentally. A lot physically. A lot spiritually. A lot financially. Sometimes I just want to switch it all off, put everything on pause and have a good, long sleep. I think that would recharge me a bit and make it all a bit less daunting. But, hey – who has time for naps?

Yeah, tonight my head hurts. My mind is on overload. (It happens….more often than I like these days.). But, the one thing I can keep going back to is knowing that the Lord is with us. Through all of it. He’s been faithful each step of the way. He’s going to keep being just that. FAITHFUL. He’s going to carry Brian through this process. He’s going to bring us peace when we need it most. I know He is going to help us make ends meet and provide where we are needing it most. Leaning into Jesus is 100% the only thing I know is tried and true and won’t let me down.

These headache days will come and go. This is a darn bumpy road. But, He is always there and He’s in the business of taking care of His kids…. and man – I am really thankful for that. Otherwise, I just don’t know how we’d get through any of this. I mean seriously. Cancer sucks. A lot. And if you let it, it will suck the life, joy, and sanity out of you. Instead. I am going to… daily – give it to HIM and trust that He’s going to see us through.

Brian is such an incredible guy. I can’t say just how blessed I am to be his wife. Really. He’s such a loving husband – the best dad on the planet to our boys. He’s ‘all in’ for his family. I know we are fortunate. It’s hard to see him go through this- again. But I know there is a reason. I don’t have to know why. I just have to trust.

Anyhow, if you read through all this – thanks…… sometimes it’s good to let it out and just share the raw stuff too. Everything isn’t clinical – there are a bunch of feelings in there too. So thank you for being there. Means a lot.

I am sure Brian will be back at it with an update for you tomorrow. For tonight – prayers are always appreciated. ♥️